Tuesday, July 15, 2008

A Girl in her Stood Worried and Blue

The past few months have been extremely exciting and successful concerning my art life. But now, as the thesis show creeps up, only 10 weeks away, I feel I have lost all will to make art. This is a very dangerous feeling and even a more dangerous action- to not make the art. These past few days have been torture in the studio. Everything is starting to look the same to me, towering blobs of felt as cakes, little sewn doo-dads being stuffed and stitched, cupcake after cupcake after cupcake. AHHH! What if I fail graduate school, after three years? What if I fail my oral examinations after all this work? These thoughts are starting to haunt me, more often now that it's getting closer and closer. I took sometime today to look through some old art books that always seem to get me excited. Louise Bourgeois in particular. I like to go back and re-read interviews she has given. Today I came across a quote from her that reads, (when making, exhibiting art) "The only responsibility lies in being completely truthful to yourself." I thought about that for a minute and then thought of all my graduate school education and how in the end, it is always about telling the truth. Being honest. This is something I learned my first year in graduate school, in critique. Be honest. The fear of failing my thesis show is a common one amongst grad students, I believe. And to conquer that fear I just have to be honest with myself. I know my work, I know what I'm doing now (it's taken quite a while to get to this point, but I'm finally here) and the sameness that is happening in the studio now just means I need to perk up and keep making. Once in a while I need to go back and remember wise words from some of my favorite art heroes, Louise Bourgeois and Mark Newport. Be honest, Mindy. Honestly, I need some comfort food (real, not felt or spackle)!

Portrait sewing doo-dads that will eventually become hanging candies.

1 comment:

Mister said...

You are so cute. I just love that picture of you.

I miss you so much and love you even more!